Fourteen.

See what happened before this

He had an away message up. I remember that. I remember thinking that if there was any reason for me to stay, than him being online would be a sign. But no he was away. I picked the phone up and called the airline, I needed a plane ticket, a one way plane ticket. I was leaving.

I'm leaving Denver.

Is what I put up once I made the decision. He wasn't online like I wanted him to be. No this was a sign for me to leave. At this point all of my friends had left, Shawnda had come back home, Ajay had left several months before and the MB and I were very estranged. This world that I was living in was not the Denver that I thought it would be. Things had gotten so twisted out of context. I knew that things couldn't be like this anymore for me. My path did not lead down this direction. I loved Luke but it wasn't enough to get me to stay. Plus I felt that I would never have him.

Something happened to him in the shower, some sort of epiphany. Something that I will never know, but I do know that he had a realization. He finally realized what I had been wanting an answer to. He realized that he did want me.

The fact was that it was too late. My mind was made up, my ticket was purchase and I was leaving in 2 weeks. He was a few minutes too late.

The next 2 weeks seemed like an eternity. Packing my life up again, heading back home to a place that I was trying to escape and here I was, trying to escape Denver. The snow drove me insane, the people drove me insane and the drama drove me really insane.

So I packed my life up once more and had most of it shipped back home. The day had finally come for me to leave, so there Luke, some friends and I were at the airport. It was like a scene from a movie. The time had come for me to say good bye to this life, a life that I have long since forgotten.

Before I got on the plane, I remember hugging him. Holding him, crying and wishing that things could be different. And I remember him telling me that one day, one day things would be different. One day we would be in each other's lives again. One day things would be different. One day, we'd be on the same path. One day I wouldn't get his instant message a few minutes too late. Although, I didn't believe that this was true, I believed in him. I held him close, for what I thought would be the last time and I said good bye. I said good bye to the person that I loved more than the world, and I took a leap. I came back home and started over.